Patience

2 Peter 3:9  (NIV)The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

1 Cor. 13:4  (NIV)Love is patient, love is kind.

I am convinced that one of the most necessary ingredients for working with men and women recently released from prison, is patience. Patience smoothes over the bumps and cracks, allowing one to see past them to keep the eye on the goal: helping people grow to become like Jesus. 

Patience listens to the persons heart’s desire and doesn’t focus on their behaviour. This can protect the heart from discouragement as people struggle and sometimes fail after facing challenges and past issues that arise often and sometimes without warning.

Patience means not forcing our time-table on anyone but allowing them to grow and change at a pace that is sustainable for them

Patience allows for trust to develop, as the person we are supporting doesn’t feel we have an agenda or that they are a “project” with a timeline.

Patience prepares one for the long haul where recovery is sometimes measured in baby steps over years, not usually quick or easy. (The quick and easy progress often cloaks deeper, well-buried problems that will always eventually surface.)

It means that we don't give up on anyone. There may be needed times of rest when a break is required because the involvement has been so intense, but we don’t “wash our hands” and we don’t “close any doors.”

Patience is the fruit of a Spirit-filled life and flows from love.  When we lack it we need to look inside and not focus on the one we are impatient with.

Patience is elusive for many reasons.  One, is our own selfishness and self-centeredness.  Another is that we live in an age of quick fixes, when we look for immediate results. Unfortunately, real life is seldom like that. We can find patience though when we keep our own condition and moment-by-moment need of God's grace firmly fixed in our mind.

Patience is possible when ego isn't involved- a person’s recovery is about him/her, not a reflection on us and our effectiveness.
     

Patience is possible when we have a clear belief in a Heavenly Father who pursues and never stops extending His arms of love, inviting us to faith in Christ and obedience to His word.  I am so glad He pursued me. We can’t give up on people, because God doesn’t give up on us.

It was one of those days....

      ...when God moves.
        I share this story for no other reason than to remind myself, and whoever reads this, that God is there.
         Lil and I were at a point that we had decided to leave the Aftercare ministry of New Life Prison Ministry http://www.nlpm.com/.  I had applied for a full time position with a community agency because, after two years with New Life, our financial support had not reached a point where we didn't need to depend on a subsidy from the Ministry.  I felt that we were being a burden.  Added to that, the relief position I had been working at with a secular organization in order to supplement what NLPM could give to us, came to an end. We were facing a financial crunch and did not feel comfortable moving forward with NLPM and being a drain on its finances. I was confused and anxious about the next step. I was disappointed in myself too- how after so many years of seeing God's faithfulness in guiding and providing in our lives, was I allowing these circumstances to affect me?
       Leaving the aftercare ministry was not my desire. As I look back over the two years, I can point to God's hand working in the lives of a number of men and women who have come back into the community from prison and are doing well: attending church, working or studying and moving ahead in life. Others are still struggling to overcome huge barriers, like addictions issues or mental illness, and have been experiencing God's unconditional love and committment to them.  Through the two new Dismas Fellowship groups http://www.friendsofdismas.com/about-2/ministry-of-friendship/ in London and Cambridge a number of different Christians have had the opportunity of learning how to wisely care for folks who have experienced prison and all that comes along with it. "Returnees"desperately need the love, discipleship training and affirmation that the church can offer. The prospect of ending my involvement with aftercare was causing me to lose more than a couple of night's sleep. I couldn't figure out what God was saying.  Why had He not brought people forward to give to this work?  Why, after two years were we still needing to look for financial support from New Life Prison Ministry? Was God telling us- "Not you. Not this time." The need for someone (actually a whole team of people), to be involved in being there to support and encourage "returnees" is scandalously obvious.
     I was ready to leave though.  It was the only way of seeing our economic needs met without being a burden to a ministry we love and respect. I had applied for the full time position and had an interview in two days. I met with Gerrit and Susan Blok. They are our friends.  They have been and are our spiritual mentors.  They also give leadership to New Life and needed to know what I was thinking and the way it seemed God was leading.  As I shared my thoughts, they were supportive and understanding.  They, like Lil and I, were sad at the prospect of us leaving New Life Prison Ministry, but as we talked none of us could see a way forward.  We were confused by what God was doing: the needs are so obvious but the resources were not available. Gerrit asked: "What is your fleece?" as we talked about what it would take for me to stay with New Life. I had thought about it and said: "God will need to do something special this week- He will have to have someone call in and offer to support New Life with at least $500 for me to believe He wants us to keep on going.  We prayed, then I left to go into the local jail to visit a couple of men.  I had peace about leaving New Life, but no joy.
    Well, you can see where this is going- that phone call came in within half an hour from someone known to the ministry but not a regular supporter.  He said he had been reading his Bible and felt he needed to contact New Life.  During the phone conversation he asked questions and managed to pry out of Susan details about my time with them earlier that morning. He then assured them that the need would be met.  God had graciously and amazingly responded to the fleece with a message of: "I want the aftercare ministry to keep on going!"  Later that day, I was encouraged by two managers at a community agency to apply for a part-time position that was about to open up.  That part-time position, and the generous support being offered by the individual who phoned, will allow me to continue with NLPM in aftercare.  I cancelled the interview for the full-time position.
     I have shared this story this week with a number of people; "returnees" and others.  As I share with you faithful reader,  I want you to know and be encouraged- God is real. He does listen. He does let us know (sometimes after a period of waiting and silence) what He wants us to do and where He wants us to go.
    Please pray for New Life Prison Ministry. God has had and still does have His eye on it as we seek to share the message of God's love and purpose in Jesus Christ to men and women who have involvement with the criminal justice system. May our actions, attitudes and words help others to know how great God is.

Philippians 4:6,7  (NIV)

 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

     

Dismas in Action

Marty has abused alcohol for his whole adult life.  It has abused him too.   His relationship with it started when he was a young teen but he managed to patch together a career as a mechanic and truck driver.  Eventually his drinking caught up with him and a series of bad decisions resulted in the loss of his driver’s license, large fines and then jail time, a number of times.  He lost everything he had worked for: his family, a home, his business and all his retirement savings.  Marty is a trusting soul but those he trusted bilked him of all his assets and have now pretty much abandoned him.  In his 60’s now, he feels like a failure; betrayed and foolish.  I got to know him after his most recent release from jail, when he called me and asked for support in finding somewhere to live.  He was in a homeless shelter but proud of the fact that he had completed a few months of sobriety while incarcerated.   A year later he is still sober a year and, thanks be to God, in his own apartment.  He has a lot to feel good about.  When he lives in the present and focuses on what he has now he is fun to be around. Marty started attending a church and knows that God can give him the strength to go on. 

But Marty struggles with depression. His life-long relationship with alcohol has left him full of regrets and the feeling of loss plagues him.  It takes away his joy.  Sometimes he wonders why he even bothers trying and thinks about giving up.  At one of our recent Dismas Fellowship meetings, Marty was very much in that dark place.

In addition to joining a local church, he also joined the local Dismas group and his honesty and sense of humour make him an important part of our community.   A Dismas fellowship is a Christ-centred support group for ex-prisoners.  At every Dismas get-together we always take time to talk about life and God’s place in it. It usually starts with a reflection; prepared by one of the group to share with the rest.  Every reflection ends with a question that is meant to stimulate thought and allow people to either share how the theme relates to them or, if they don’t feel comfortable sharing, to pass.  The reflection question that night had centred on what God was doing and wants to do in our lives.  Marty was in a negative space when he arrived and when it was his turn to talk, he shared about his current struggles; his anger towards God and how he feels everything and everyone has turned against him.  He expressed confusion about God’s silence in unanswered prayers. He was saying that he wonders if God really loves him and is believing that everyone would be better off if he was dead.  Marty’s mind was firmly anchored in the past and was being flooded by regret and guilt, a place it usually camps out when he takes his eyes off Jesus and all the good that is in his life. That is why it is so important that he surround himself with a loving supportive community.  That night the Dismas community responded and gathered around him to pray with him and reassure him. That night, and since then, the group became the hands and feet of a loving God for Marty. The future is uncertain for him because of some big challenges ahead but the good thing is he won’t face it alone- after all; he belongs to a  Dismas Fellowship!

Pray for Marty.  Pray that he live in the moment and learn to forgive himself and others who have hurt him in the past.  Pray too for the Dismas groups in London and Cambridge and the volunteers that have pitched in to help.  Pray that God will use the groups to encourage and build up ex-prisoners as they seek to know and serve Him. Thanks for taking the time to read this and to pray.