Boundaries

 

Crossing the Line

The apostle Paul wrote in one of his letters found in the New Testament: "We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too." 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (NLT)

      Paul let people in...no question about it.  When they struggled, he struggled.  When they attacked, he hurt.  When they cried, he cried. Their successes were his successes and he rejoiced with them. I wonder what Paul would say about "boundaries"? 
      I know what I say when I am pushed to talk about them in prison ministry: "Don't share personal info, don't invite people into your home, don't give money, don't, don't, don't." Obviously, working with men and women released from prison can offer some unusual challenges and potential risks as many are dealing with both addiction and mental health issues. I sometimes unwisely cross the line and realize I have exposed myself to potential danger. It happened the other day when I visited a woman who had been referred to me.  I had never met her before and went to her place as she struggles with a significant drug addiction and agoraphobia and doesn't like to leave her home. As I sat alone with her in the apartment I understood that I had put myself in a compromising situation- one false accusation and my ability to be effective for God would be over. It wasn't wise and I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again. 
    Having said this though, I am also convinced that sharing our lives is the most effective way of helping people understand the love that God has for them. Trust comes to us as we demonstrate it to others and we do that when we open our lives up to to them. I often feel a great tension between "keeping safe" and loving people the way Jesus loves. I expect I will never get it figured out entirely because the ground keeps on shifting and each person is unique, each situation has a different dynamic. I do know that getting exhausted and overextending myself trying to do too much is counterproductive. None of us are "gods" in that we can't fix anyone, or save anyone. Getting grumpy and bitter because of a lack of response or change in the person is no help to anyone. Getting "burned" and hurt by someone we are trying to serve can cause disappointment and cynicism and that isn't good.  This is what happens when we don't listen to God and respect the boundaries He is telling us to draw. 
     But, on the other hand, we know that God uses his servants to do amazing things as they step out in faith under His guidance and demonstrate His love to others in sacrificial and radical ways. Oftentimes, these are the very ways that others criticize as being too risky.  When we do demonstrate God's love in this way, the kingdom of God benefits. We all want that. We all want our lives to be invested in ways that matter. I have the feeling that sometimes, our obsession with keeping ourselves safe and erecting boundaries to do so, may mean we push people away and we cut ourselves off from God-given opportunities to really love in Jesus' name. 

    My daily prayer for wisdom is the result of James' important counsel: "if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (TNIV, James 1:5) May this be our prayer: "God show me how you want me to love today. Then give me courage to do it."