Friday 11 January 2013

To Chase or Not to Chase? That is the question!


   I am learning there is a fine balance between "pursuing" and "waiting" involved in supporting individuals with the kind of complex needs that "returnees" have. An error in either direction could easily result in the person running from the support or simply drifting away.  How do I determine which to do and when to do it?
    Pursuing- I feel it is based on the person's expressed desire to me. If the person says:" I want to be clean of drugs" or "I want to get involved in a church community" or "I want to get the medical help I need to recover my health" and I really believe that is the cry of their heart then I will try to help them get past the barriers that exist to reach those goals.  In these cases I can live up to the name I have been given by some (in a kind way I hope) of "the Nag."  I will try to always be honest and tell the person I am calling, visiting, texting, "bugging" him/her because I believe when I was told it is what she/he really wants. I tell them too that the best way I can serve is to help the person get what they really want by being "on their case."  I have seen this way of relating assist the person get past some of the barriers of self-doubt, fear of failure, inertia, and poor relationship choices to move forward in their relationship with God and in their recovery. 
   There is a time though that "pursuing" becomes counter-productive and can drive the person away from the relationship. At that point, when I sense that is happening, again an honest conversation ensues.  It goes something like this: "I believe you when you tell me what you want but I am sensing you aren't ready to do what needs to be done. That is okay but I don't want to push you- you are the driver of your own life.  I am going to back off a bit and when you are ready, know that you can call me and we will take the next step."
   Waiting- It is important that an individual take responsibility for their recovery, as it is his/her recovery, her/his life.  If the person doesn't take responsibility for it then they won't take responsibility either for any failure or relapse.  A real desire to change and to align one's life with God's plan will show through a change in behaviour.  A person will reach out for assistance when they really want recovery.  Not waiting sometimes can be an intrusion and will assuredly drive the person away and destroy trust and relationship. I don't want to be "pushy" and make it seem that the person has to either adjust to my timetable or live up to my expectations.
    This is the fine balance that I have seen God maintain in my life.  He let me go.  He waited for me while I walked in darkness and away from Him and health. When I reached out for Him though, even feebly and half-heartedly and filled with doubts and fears, He was there and He pursued me by opening some doors, shutting others, and by putting people in my life who I could learn from. Francis Thompson wrote "The Hound of Heaven" about a pursuing God.  Listen to Richard Burton read the poem in this clip:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gToj6SLWz8Q   Jesus tells the story of "The Lost Son" and shows us the waiting Father.  Please read: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+15%3A11-32&version=NIV
    May God give us wisdom as we serve Jesus by pursuing and waiting for the people He has given us the responsibility to love. 
   

      

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